Waiting for the 5, next to a guy wearing all white clothing. Now I'm on, across from a guy who's trying to be cool by playing with his cigarette lighter. Unfortunately for him, he dropped it. On my right, there's a balding guy with dreadlocks.
On the 8 across from a little boy with a lopsided Mohawk and sunglasses. The conversation amongst the passengers has turned to Christmas. "There hasn't been a white Christmas in like seven years, man!"
The guy across from me just had a great idea: "Maybe I'll just get.. like a job or something. But the problem is they keep throwing me in jail."

Ketchup... or BLOOD?

On the E train, next to a girl with a toy unicorn. She says the unicorn hates her hairstyle and that unicorns should be made with curly hair.

At the train station, breathing in the second hand smoke of a former prisoner. She's on the phone with her mother. She's telling her all about how she sent a birthday card to her friend in prison. Yes! The former prisoner and her friend sat down next to me! Turns out he is a former prisoner too. They're talking about parole now. Oh, sad, they got off. I have now been joined by a stinky creepy guy wearing a pin that says, "I sing." He has really long nose hairs. Gross! He's leaning his head back now so I can see straight up! Glad to be getting off now...

The public transportation system in this city upsets me: everything runs on time and regularly, nothing breaks, all the people on the buses and trains just sit there and mind their own business, nobody gets into fights, nobody has loud inappropriate phone conversations, nobody dresses in clothes that make you want to ask if they think they're in Disneyland, nobody you don't know tries to talk to you. I find myself continually asking, "what is wrong with all these people?"

At the train station in the rain, next to some crazy old man that keeps grunting and growling like an annoyed dog. He's not saying any real words as far as I can tell.

On the D train, across from a guy wearing a yellow shirt and a paperclip necklace. He is crocheting a blue hat. That makes a lot of sense. It's only ninety degrees outside.

On the D train, across from an old man with a large amount of black hair growing out of his ears.
Now on the 66, along with 11 blind people. They each have a white cane and a pizza to go. Wheeling my heavy backpack through the forest of canes was fun.

Guy Across From me on the 135

Hair: matted and red
Facial hair: two pointed beard
Piercings: bridge of his nose
Skin: lots of tattoos, some highly rude political opinions
Clothing: community college psych club t-shirt, ripped up jeans
Jewelry: rubber ducky necklace

Waiting for the 44 bus, next to a guy smoking French vanilla drink mix out of a pipe.
On the 44 next to a guy with a triple Mohawk-- neon green on the sides, black in the middle.

Listening to a phone conversation on the 135. A guy in the back is saying, "excuse the way I look; I didn't put lotion on today... are you almost here? You're pulling up?"
The driver is now letting whomever this dude is talking to onto the bus. "Honey, the guy you're talking to is sitting back there."
The phone conversation concluded with, "She's only 17!? I'll try to use more-- less F language around her, shoot!"

On the H train. The gal in front of me is wearing sunglasses. The end of one eyebrow sticks out over the rim but the other is completely hidden. Are the glasses lopsided, or her eyebrows?
On the 135 next to a guy with red and black striped hair and a grim reaper tattoo.

On the H train, sitting across from a girlie boy or a boyish girl, not sure which. S/he is in pink scrubs, with dark brown hair on the left of his head and bleach blond on the right. S/he has tattoos of fishes on both arms.
Now at a very ghetto station where an old man is giving me a creepy stare.
On the D train. The guy across from me is spraying himself all over with... something. Whatever it is, it doesn't smell pleasant.

On the H train. Very crowded. I'm next to a bald guy with a bright red beard and a pierced wrist. On the 135 again. I learned another difference between the bus system in this new city and the bus system in the city I previously lived in. If you take a nose dive getting onto the bus as if you're not embarrassed enough, the driver calls you out, has you fill out a form saying you won't sue the city and you don't need medical attention, then he gives an optional form to everyone else on the bus to give their own review of what happened. I know whoever is reading this is thinking it was me who fell, but it wasn't. Not that anyone will believe that. However, I have made the mental note to never fall down on the bus here.

First off: I moved. New city, new buses, new crazy people, and extremely comfy bus seats, oh my goodness this is better than my couch. I am on the 135 bus on my way to a train station.
Everyone so far has been disappointingly well behaved.
On the E train and despite all the empty seats, this old man is standing at the end of the aisle, not holding onto anything, and staring blankly ahead. He is creeping me out.

On the 8, surrounded by a bunch of stinky sweaty people. An old lady just got on. She's wearing a rainbow winter hat and ski gloves, because it's only 90 degrees outside. But now that she's in the cool air conditioned bus, she's taking her gloves off. That makes a lot of sense.
The guy next to me is having a strange phone conversation. "Show him the fence and give him a smack on the nose. ....don't show him the money."
On the 140, next to a guy who seems to have an entire arachnoid identification system tattooed across his body. He also has four nose piercings and three lip piercings. How on earth does he blow his nose?

On Location: 16th Street Mall

This bus has no air conditioning. It's really hot and full of people so one guy decided to try and open the emergency exit in the roof to cool everyone off. Then this loud voice sounds through the overhead speaker: "get out of there and sit down, please!"

Train Ride

On a train. A very hairy man is in front of me. On my left is a man who looks like a woman. In the car in front of me, two guys are wearing matching flannel shirts.
On a different train, across from a very fat man in very short shorts. In front of him, a man is holding a freakishly happy baby who keeps clapping his hands.
Two loud girls took the place of guy and baby.
The louder of the two said, "want to hear my best idea ever?" Sadly, she received a text message after that, and I never found out what her idea was.
Now they're mirroring each other, moving their hands around.

So I'm on the 140 with my sister, the-red-headed-swimmer. We are heading home after getting hair cuts and she really likes hers so she tells me, "pretty people shouldn't have to ride the bus! The bus is for old people and all their suitcases!"
The guy in front of me with an ear split in two keeps blowing up a red balloon and then letting it fly around. I hope none of his saliva spitting out of it lands on me.

Interesting Dude

The other day when I was on the 140, I met a really crazy person. He started out telling me about this perfect alternative energy machine that he made and how he wasn't going to show it to the public because he didn't want anyone to kill him in his sleep. I asked him, "How does it run?" He just said "HA!" After that, he started telling me all about his music and how it comes to him. "I close my eyes, and I'm in a theatre, and then I look up at the stage, and I'm on stage, playing and singing, and I write it all down and there is my song." He then went on to tell me about all the police officers he had met that told him he should become a cop. He showed me all the different business cards. "They all say I should be a cop! What do you think o' that?"