Waiting for the 5, next to a guy wearing all white clothing. Now I'm on, across from a guy who's trying to be cool by playing with his cigarette lighter. Unfortunately for him, he dropped it. On my right, there's a balding guy with dreadlocks.
On the 8 across from a little boy with a lopsided Mohawk and sunglasses. The conversation amongst the passengers has turned to Christmas. "There hasn't been a white Christmas in like seven years, man!"
The guy across from me just had a great idea: "Maybe I'll just get.. like a job or something. But the problem is they keep throwing me in jail."

Ketchup... or BLOOD?

On the E train, next to a girl with a toy unicorn. She says the unicorn hates her hairstyle and that unicorns should be made with curly hair.

At the train station, breathing in the second hand smoke of a former prisoner. She's on the phone with her mother. She's telling her all about how she sent a birthday card to her friend in prison. Yes! The former prisoner and her friend sat down next to me! Turns out he is a former prisoner too. They're talking about parole now. Oh, sad, they got off. I have now been joined by a stinky creepy guy wearing a pin that says, "I sing." He has really long nose hairs. Gross! He's leaning his head back now so I can see straight up! Glad to be getting off now...

The public transportation system in this city upsets me: everything runs on time and regularly, nothing breaks, all the people on the buses and trains just sit there and mind their own business, nobody gets into fights, nobody has loud inappropriate phone conversations, nobody dresses in clothes that make you want to ask if they think they're in Disneyland, nobody you don't know tries to talk to you. I find myself continually asking, "what is wrong with all these people?"

At the train station in the rain, next to some crazy old man that keeps grunting and growling like an annoyed dog. He's not saying any real words as far as I can tell.

On the D train, across from a guy wearing a yellow shirt and a paperclip necklace. He is crocheting a blue hat. That makes a lot of sense. It's only ninety degrees outside.

On the D train, across from an old man with a large amount of black hair growing out of his ears.
Now on the 66, along with 11 blind people. They each have a white cane and a pizza to go. Wheeling my heavy backpack through the forest of canes was fun.

Guy Across From me on the 135

Hair: matted and red
Facial hair: two pointed beard
Piercings: bridge of his nose
Skin: lots of tattoos, some highly rude political opinions
Clothing: community college psych club t-shirt, ripped up jeans
Jewelry: rubber ducky necklace

Waiting for the 44 bus, next to a guy smoking French vanilla drink mix out of a pipe.
On the 44 next to a guy with a triple Mohawk-- neon green on the sides, black in the middle.

Listening to a phone conversation on the 135. A guy in the back is saying, "excuse the way I look; I didn't put lotion on today... are you almost here? You're pulling up?"
The driver is now letting whomever this dude is talking to onto the bus. "Honey, the guy you're talking to is sitting back there."
The phone conversation concluded with, "She's only 17!? I'll try to use more-- less F language around her, shoot!"

On the H train. The gal in front of me is wearing sunglasses. The end of one eyebrow sticks out over the rim but the other is completely hidden. Are the glasses lopsided, or her eyebrows?
On the 135 next to a guy with red and black striped hair and a grim reaper tattoo.

On the H train, sitting across from a girlie boy or a boyish girl, not sure which. S/he is in pink scrubs, with dark brown hair on the left of his head and bleach blond on the right. S/he has tattoos of fishes on both arms.
Now at a very ghetto station where an old man is giving me a creepy stare.
On the D train. The guy across from me is spraying himself all over with... something. Whatever it is, it doesn't smell pleasant.

On the H train. Very crowded. I'm next to a bald guy with a bright red beard and a pierced wrist. On the 135 again. I learned another difference between the bus system in this new city and the bus system in the city I previously lived in. If you take a nose dive getting onto the bus as if you're not embarrassed enough, the driver calls you out, has you fill out a form saying you won't sue the city and you don't need medical attention, then he gives an optional form to everyone else on the bus to give their own review of what happened. I know whoever is reading this is thinking it was me who fell, but it wasn't. Not that anyone will believe that. However, I have made the mental note to never fall down on the bus here.

First off: I moved. New city, new buses, new crazy people, and extremely comfy bus seats, oh my goodness this is better than my couch. I am on the 135 bus on my way to a train station.
Everyone so far has been disappointingly well behaved.
On the E train and despite all the empty seats, this old man is standing at the end of the aisle, not holding onto anything, and staring blankly ahead. He is creeping me out.

On the 8, surrounded by a bunch of stinky sweaty people. An old lady just got on. She's wearing a rainbow winter hat and ski gloves, because it's only 90 degrees outside. But now that she's in the cool air conditioned bus, she's taking her gloves off. That makes a lot of sense.
The guy next to me is having a strange phone conversation. "Show him the fence and give him a smack on the nose. ....don't show him the money."
On the 140, next to a guy who seems to have an entire arachnoid identification system tattooed across his body. He also has four nose piercings and three lip piercings. How on earth does he blow his nose?

On Location: 16th Street Mall

This bus has no air conditioning. It's really hot and full of people so one guy decided to try and open the emergency exit in the roof to cool everyone off. Then this loud voice sounds through the overhead speaker: "get out of there and sit down, please!"

Train Ride

On a train. A very hairy man is in front of me. On my left is a man who looks like a woman. In the car in front of me, two guys are wearing matching flannel shirts.
On a different train, across from a very fat man in very short shorts. In front of him, a man is holding a freakishly happy baby who keeps clapping his hands.
Two loud girls took the place of guy and baby.
The louder of the two said, "want to hear my best idea ever?" Sadly, she received a text message after that, and I never found out what her idea was.
Now they're mirroring each other, moving their hands around.

So I'm on the 140 with my sister, the-red-headed-swimmer. We are heading home after getting hair cuts and she really likes hers so she tells me, "pretty people shouldn't have to ride the bus! The bus is for old people and all their suitcases!"
The guy in front of me with an ear split in two keeps blowing up a red balloon and then letting it fly around. I hope none of his saliva spitting out of it lands on me.

Interesting Dude

The other day when I was on the 140, I met a really crazy person. He started out telling me about this perfect alternative energy machine that he made and how he wasn't going to show it to the public because he didn't want anyone to kill him in his sleep. I asked him, "How does it run?" He just said "HA!" After that, he started telling me all about his music and how it comes to him. "I close my eyes, and I'm in a theatre, and then I look up at the stage, and I'm on stage, playing and singing, and I write it all down and there is my song." He then went on to tell me about all the police officers he had met that told him he should become a cop. He showed me all the different business cards. "They all say I should be a cop! What do you think o' that?"

On the 140. The old guy in a wheelchair up front is talking about the new fancy wheelchair he's going to buy. "With headlights, blinkers, and gears!"

On the 766 across from a guy with a homemade cigarette full of who knows what behind his ear. Someone just left their year pass on their seat. Sad day for them but the guy who picked it up was pretty happy. A girl a few seats down is eating something hot pink out of a ramen cup. I don't think it tastes too good because she takes a big gulp of tea between every bite. The guy who found the bus pass just traded it for something he is now rolling up in cigarette paper.

Next to someone on the 5 talking about his druggie roommate. "He just kept taking them. Then I wondered what I should do, cause what if he died at my house?"
Waiting for the 790 while chatting with a guy wearing an eyepatch. He's telling me about how much he wants a helicopter.
On the 790 next to a guy with two lip piercings, two nose piercings and two eyebrow piercings. He is very symmetrical.

On the 140, next to a guy selling baseball caps that he's decorated with glitter glue. The dude across from him just bought one for five dollars. "You can't beat five bucks, but when people buy a lot, you could give em a discount. Sell five for 25 dollars."
The two of them are now talking about alcohol. "Somedays, I think drinking messes you up." "If you're low budget and you wanna get drunk-- that's stupid, man. But I'm getting too old. I think I'll give up drinking and just do drugs!" And they're back to crafts, talking about making bracelets and decorating hats.

Two things to say this morning:
1. Men should never cut their pants off into caprees.
2. Isn't 6:30 in the morning a bit early to be drinking beer out of a Gatorade bottle?

Well, there's a dead cat at this bus stop.

Imagine the smell of the entire zoo packed into one vehicle. That was the 777 today. I swear someone was carrying around a bag full of elephant poop.
Now I am on the 140 and the smell of cigarettes is so bad, I think I prefer the zoo smell.

On the 777 and they're doing that dumb survey again. However, the people in charge are getting much faster at explaining themselves. It is packed in here today. There are way too many strangers touching me. The personal space bubble has been popped. I sure wish my neighbor's sweaty arm would stop touching mine.

On the 8, between guy-with-train-conductor-hat and girl-from-Hairspray.
Waiting for the 140 on a bench with a gal absorbed in a book about dog whispering and a gal eating a parfait.
I sat down in the middle of an interesting conversation between two old men:
"In my day, we used to sniff it."
"In my day, we'd put it on a sandwich with peanut butter and eat it."

Waiting for the 8 on a bench surrounded by an unbelievable amount of water. A fire hydrant busted about 300 feet from where the stop is, so I'm sitting here getting splashed every time a car passes.
On the 140 and boy is it stinky. Would it kill these people to take a shower?

Eavesdropping

The guy across from me had a lot to say today. He talked about his job, his old job, his hair, and how he didn't have a cell phone. He said, "The other day, I got off at the wrong stop, and I didn't have a phone, so I head toward this building to see if they have a phone I can use. Then I get closer, and I see the front of it, and it's the FBI! They musta been laughing their heads off when they saw me on their security camera-- just wandering around..."
Then there was this real intelligent girl a few seats down from him. The driver made an announcement that sounded from the overhead speakers and she said, "Wow, the bus talks... oh, my gosh, that's amazing!" with genuine astonishment all over her face.

I couldn't blog while on the bus today, because I had to work on homework. However, it was an eventful day, so I am now giving the recap.
This morning was rather interesting, which is strange, because the mornings are never interesting on the 766. These people were working on a survey of how many people ride the bus. There was a gal sitting in the front, a guy sitting in the back, and a guy harassing everyone who walked in the doors to help him with his survey. He had a scanner and a laptop and he would scan a card and hand it to each person and tell him or her to give the card to one of his friends before leaving the bus. I found this to be a very strange and unnecessarily complicated way of counting how many people were getting on and off the bus. Why didn't he just ask everyone where they were getting off?
The man sitting in front of me had his feet up on the chair across the aisle from himself and he kept dumping water on his head. This was causing some problems, since the survey takers kept walking from the front to the back. I was surprised nobody tripped over his legs.

Lip prints on the window. That's disgusting.

At the bus stop, next to a guy with dreadlocks, playing with poi balls.
On the 766, across from a guy in a camouflage jumpsuit. He has tan nail polish and he smells like a melon.now he is snapping and giving someone the peace sign. And he is whistling through his teeth. He is now starting at me with a dazef smile on his face. And now he's talking to himself.
I am now across from a woman with very hairy arms.

Manicures

The gal next to me on the 140 is clipping her finger nails into her purse. And now the guy across from me is clipping his nails too. The gal has moved on to lotion. And now she's filing. I'm just waiting for her to bust out the polish.

Bloody Bus

On the 140. The guy who just got on is carrying a shirt that I'm pretty positive is covered in blood. And right behind him is his shirtless friend who looks like he's about to pass out. Oh, just saw the back of his head. I now understand all the blood. And of course they come and sit next to me. One keeps saying "no hard feelings" and then they'll do the shake-fist-bump-snap thing that guys do.
On the 8. A fat kid is poking a scrawny kid with his crutch. Both his legs look fine so I'm not really sure why he has it. The scrawny kid is calling the fat kid a cheeseburger.

On the 140, right in the very front, because these dumb kids were holding hands and playing footsie across the aisle so no one could get through. I am across from a guy carrying a three foot metal pole with a big metal chain wrapped around it. I don't know why he's allowed to have that on the bus. You can do a lot more damage with a big metal pole than you can with a switch blade and those aren't allowed. What on earth is he doing with that thing?

On the 140 across from a girl whose hair is about three inches from the top of her head. She's saying, "I have to chop my hair off! It's so long!" She's now talking about high school freshmen. "We should smack 'em now so we won't later."
On the 8. Nothing makes you feel like a horrible person like whacking a lady's knee with your big heavy backpack does. No, I am not the lady whose knee was hit-- I am the horrible person.

On the stinkiest 140 I've ever ridden. The smell of body odor is incredibly strong. I am now between man-with-eyepatch and kid-with-sonic-headphones.

On the 140. Man with one eye at 12 o'clock. Girl that smells like hamburgers with glitter on her eyes at 3 o'clock. Serious pothead at 1 o'clock.
Two little girls just sat down next to me. They are not afraid to talk to strangers. They're telling the gal in front of me about their birthday party and me that they like my lunchbox.
On the 8. There are some really dumb kids talking about drugs.
"There ain't nothing wrong with weed."
"Heroin is just a spice, right?"
And now they're making cigarettes. Sometimes, high school kids frighten me.

On the 140 the guy across from me just ask the stranger sitting next to him to feel his chin, "there's a bump there, huh?" The other guy is now feeling his own chin to compare. I don't know why I ever worry that there won't be anything to blog about.
On the 777 across from two girls trying to high-five each other, but they're drunk so they keep missing. Now they're hugging. One of them looks extremely grumpy and the other is laughing hysterically. Getting off.

This crazy old man on the 8 is telling an interesting story, "I used to pretend to be homeless and I would stand on the corner in front of a restaurant with s sign and collect change. But one day this cop pulls up next to me and he says that I am not allowed to do that! You know what I think? He didn't want me there because the waiters were jealous that people were giving me five, ten, twenty dollars and they were only getting two, three dollar tips."

On the 8 next across from a gal who is talking about her ex-boyfriend, "He had his mother brake up with me."

On the 766 and it is super gross. There's a layer of sand on the floor and I can hardly see through the grimy windows. I don't know if it's because the weather has been so windy or if it is because the buses only get thoroughly cleaned Sunday night, and it is Sunday evening right now.
The more I look, the more dirt I see: someone's fingerprints are on the wall next to me, black splotches are on the upper windows, and-- hey, that dude just brought on a pizza, and it smells yummy-- there's something all chewed up on the floor.

I'm currently waiting at a super disgusting stop; it smells like fish, cigarette butts and sunflower seed shells cover the sidewalk around it, and the covered benched is dirty and graffitied. The two punks I'm waiting with are creepy looking. Hurry up, stupid bus! On the 31, and I have just learned that the buses are being taught to say more things. Usually, there is a voice that announces upcoming intersections and says "stop requested" but this one keeps saying, "when exiting the bus, please use rear door." I have been saying that for years.

On the 8 with my friend, Skinny-Smiler. The gal in the back whacked her elbo and shouted, "ow, my funny bone!" Then a complete stranger to her said, "I thought you were a cat..."
Not sure the story behind it, but the kid to my left just said, "your teeth are sharp! Like yourself!"
The bus just broke down and the kid's dad said, "what'd you do to the bus? I told you not to do that anymore!"

New Graffiti

This is seriously cool. Someone super-glued this awesome picture to the concrete pillar next to the bus stop bench.

On the 8. It's freezing. The bus smells strongly of alcohol. The guy in front of me is wrapped up in a fuzzy blue blanket and his beanie is held on with bobby pins so it doesn't blow off in the wind.

New Blog

Hello to my readers! I have a new blog called "People Watch" for anyone interested in reading it. It's like a "What Happens on the Bus" for every other place.
observinganthropoids.blogspot.com
Sorry, you'll have to copy and paste, the dumb link button is not working.

On Location: Shuttle Bus to Concert Hall

Two words: old. people. Doesn't anyone under the age of sixty go to classical music concerts? The heat on the bus was cranked up to the extreme for all the elderly people on there (which was basically everyone but my date and myself).

On the 8 across from a guy who has a wallet and a chain stuffed into his boot. On one hand, he has a purple surgical glove with the pointer finger cut off and over that, a winter glove with all the fingers cut off. He just got off and by the way he was walking, I would guess he has a lot more stuffed into his boot. His place was taken by a guy who smells like mustard.

On the 140 next to a kid that I think is about 15, but he has a university student bus pass and is enthusiastically reading an engineering text book about five inches thick. Either he looks about five years younger than he is or he's one of those genius kids.
I've just been joined by ten very loud high school students, all singing "The Wheels on the Bus."
Now they've moved on to much more intelligent conversations about how there are no bathrooms on the bus. And back to singing. In case anyone is wondering, the driver on the bus goes "growl growl growl." The high school kid with a mohawk just said in a fake British accent, "in my family, cursing is like being polite... we could make sailors cry."
Phew, glad to get off that bus.

On the 140, next to a guy hiding booze in his coat and a guy that sounds like he just sucked down a balloon full of helium. The guy across from me is carrying around a gallon of water-- just in case.

As I was waiting for the 766 earlier today, a guy started talking to me about how he used to trim bushes for a doctor. "He gave me sixty bucks for like one hour. That guy was loaded. And now, if I ever need brain surgery, I know who to talk to!"

Forgiveness and Love

I'm sitting at the bus stop, minding my own business, and the crazy lady comes up to me and says, "I have sinned. Will you forgive me?" So I said "yes." Then she said, "wonderful, I forgive you too," and she took off to tell the same thing to someone walking down the sidewalk.
Now I'm at another bus stop, talking to another crazy person. His speech is incredibly slurred and he asked to borrow my phone. I told him no and he asked what time is it. After I told him the time, he said something I couldn't understand. I nodded my head and he said, "whoever... whoever is... loves you." After that, he left.

At the very back of the 140. There is a guy at the very front staring right at me and smiling this huge creepy smile.
The guy across from me had to bring his bike on because the rack was full. His shoes and bike match.

The guy next to me with super long nose hairs is eating a bag of corn chips. They smell bad. Another guy has his beanie pulled down over his eyes and is slumped forward, sleeping.

At the bus stop, next to a guy blasting 50's music on a tape player. Now that we're on the 140, he's talking to himself, "St. Louis.... 79, 80... can't get away with nothing... Detroit..." Oh, sad, he got off.

At the bus stop next to three girls having a strange conversation. One of them is trying to swallow a pill. She keeps drinking water and saying, "it won't go down!" One of the others said, "that happens to me all the time. My gag reflex is like, out of control."

At the bus stop in the freezing wind, all bundled up next to three other people all bundled up. Then along comes a man in shorts and a t-shirt. The gal next to me announced, "that man thinks it's summer. I applaud you, man, cause I'm freezing."
On the 5. It's pretty crowded on account of outside being freezing.

On the 140, next to a guy with freakishly white shoes. Across from me is a guy in a spider sweatshirt, rapping alobg to his iPod and stomping his feet. Next to him is a guy wearing a baseball cap emblazoned with a glittering marijuana leaf. I really wish I could film the rapper. He's got some interesting dance moves going on. Also, he is chewing on some kind of identification bracelet. He's having a hard time choosing between rapping and chewing, resulting in the end of the bracelet just sitting in his mouth getting slobbered on while he continues to rap.
He's gone. His replacement is a guy with a two-point beard, an eye-patch, and neon blue and orange shoes.

Somebody Left Their Glove on the 8

My Bus Bench Story

Click to enlarge.

On the 140, with.... a cat? I can hear it loud and clear, but I cannot see where it is!
The tough-looking guy across from me-- with his shades, tattoos, and gangsta hat-- is blasting Justin Bieber on his headphones. The sad part is, it's not the worst noise on here. That cat is going nuts. I didn't think cats were allowed on the bus.
On the 777, in front of a kid with creepy crimson contact lenses.

On the 766 and nothing exciting is going on at all because I am right next to a cop. His name is an order: C Moore. I wish he'd see a little less so the people surrounding him wouldn't be so unentertaining. And now I'm getting off. Oh, and would you look at that-- someone left a banana peel on his or her seat.

Waiting for the 8 next to a cross-eyed man pushing a shopping cart containing a large bag of popcorn and an empty liquor bottle. We have now been joined by a large woman drinking a 2-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper.

Somebody Left Their Sock on the 140

I wish I had been on the 140 yesterday at the same time this other guy was, because he is telling me all about the couple that brought in a baby stroller filled with boxes of candy bars. He said they just kept pulling them out from under the blankets.
On the 8, across from a guy in a long black coat covered in metal studs. He has a very pokey looking mohawk and tattoos of stars on both hands.

On the 140 next to a shaggy looking guy with '80s shades.
I was talking to a guy about how you can fix a phone after it's been in water by putting it in a bag of rice. Then this other guy pipes up, "so if I get drunk, I just got to lay in a bag of rice?" The guy I was talking to is now talking about how he got married while he was in prison. And now he's been married twelve years, so I guess it worked out.
I'm on the 8, and there are two people on here that have black eyes. The 8 doesn't even haul the rough crowds! It's main purpose is usually to take people to and from the mall.
So much for not hauling the rough crowd around; I am now across from a girl with a ripped black t shirt, black and purple hair, and lip ring. She is glaring and grinding her teeth.

140 on Valentine's Day. I'm surrounded by couples, giggling girls, kids in pink, and a guy with a big cut across his forehead. The guy behind me just said, "now adays we've got some pretty good-looking dentures." He is discussing with another person how he get find them cheap.

Cold

Next to a stinky guy on the 777.
Now I'm on a very full 140. I'm across from a guy with yellow hair and pink spikes in his ears. And now I am next to a different stinky guy. An old man is shouting that he is going to move to Saudi Arabia so he doesn't have to worry about gas prices.
The air conditioner has just been turned on. It's only forty degrees outside! What is wrong with this driver?
This driver is some kind of cold blooded freak! He just keeps cranking the air up. It feels pleasant when the doors open!
And now I am next to a lesbian couple. They're giving each other hickies. I want off!

140. Rush hour. Crowded. Sadly, there is no one exciting to blog about. Scratch that-- the girl with the blue hair who insists her friend's phone is on crack is on again! She's on the phone saying, "don't you know you're being evil right now?"
On the 8. The old guy next to me is saying "the worst thing you could ever do is keep your mouth shut."
Now he's talking to a young guy about the military: "they wouldn't take me. My blood's too thin. Got medicine in my refrigerator, but you can't get high on it so I only take it after surgery."

On the 140. A short and round man just brought a big set of plastic drawers aboard. I wonder what the official rules are about what you can and can't bring on the bus. I also wonder what is in those plastic drawers, but they're turned away from me.
A really scary-looking guy is playing this disgusting rap music really loudly. It's against the rules; I don't know why people do it. Get some headphones! Oh, good, he got off. His seat was taken by a guy with a number of different scenes tattooed on his arms including what looks like a zombie fight and a dragon attack.
At the bus stop now, next to a guy drinking yogurt right out of the yogurt pot. And he's started to play with his food-- blobbing it all over the ground and the wall he's sitting on.

Sitting at the bus stop.
In the cold.
Next to a pile of vomit.

Bad Bus Day

Screaming kids on the 777. I want off!
On the 140 now. I want to be back on the 777. It is packed and I'm squished. Oh, wonderful, the bus just broke down. And now I'm on the side of the road with a crew of thugs, hobos, students, and one girl in scrubs.
The 141 just arrived and out driver loaded us up onto it saying, "have a good day!" Now we have two buses full of people all crammed on to one bus. A bus whose last stop is a mile away from where I need to be.
The gal next to me is carrying a purse with a blown-up surgical glove sticking out the side. The kid across from me has an extremely short buzz cut, but he has a hair brush sticking out of his pocket.
To finish this story, I got off the 141 and went to get a hot chocolate while waiting for the 140. The 140 came during the five minutes I was in the coffee shop, granting me another forty minutes of waiting at the bus stop. Sometimes, I hate the bus.

On the 140 next to a guy with seriously cool tattoos of his humerus, radius, ulna, carpals, metacarpals, and phalanges all over his arm
Waiting for the 8 next to a guy dressed completely in white. He is singing to himself. Now he is getting angry over how long the bus is taking to get here. He's throwing his cigarette around and shouting, "I coulda had a burger, fries n coke and it still wouldn't be here!"
Finally on the bus. Everyone else on here is super old and gray. That's really strange.

On the 8. The driver's in an awful hurry. As soon as I got on she slammed on the gas. Anyone getting on is have trouble not falling on the way to their seats.
On the 140 now. Next to Hagrid / Hurley and a guy who is high or mentally unstable. The latter is talking to me a lot. "How are you? My name's Ray. Are you okay? I'm okay."

Sitting behind a guy with a nice black shirt and nice black pants and a hat with doggie ears on it. Nice touch. And now there's a bum asking everyone on the bus for change. A really big dude is standing right in front of the door. It really bugs me when people do that. Everyone else is forced to squeeze around him.
Interesting couple just got on. He has half a head of long hair. She has long pink, black, and white hair. She's a good three inches taller than he is.
On the 8 now. I'm next to two middle school boys, whispering and giggling to each other. The only words I caught were "beef stroganoff." The old lady in front of me has her hair put up with 3 ponytail holders and at least 7 barrettes. The guy across from me is having a lovely snack of Mountain Dew and beef jerky.
Beef jerky guy is staring at me over the top of his sunglasses. It's creeping me out a bit.

Smells like nail polish remover here on the 766. There's a guy with hot pink hair towards the front.
Now waiting for the 140. This crazy dude is waving his hat around, shouting, "can we get some kind o' connection here!"
On the 140, across from a large man with a hat pulled over his eyes. I'm in between a cross-eyed girl and a hairy man with a lot of earrings.
Why is there freezing cold air blasting up from behind the seats

There are four guys in a row, sleeping. You can just imagine how exciting it is on here. A really stinky guy just sat down next to me and a group of dumb highschool kids got on. They are also stinky. One of the high school students has really short hair except for her bangs, which are long and blue. She's having a really intelligent conversation on her cell phone. "I sent you a text! You phone is on crack and you're phone is wack.....I'm not arguing on the bus about whose phone did or did not send or receive a text message. But it was yours."
Glad to be off the 140.

Waiting for the 140. The girl next to me is smoking something funny out of a glass pipe. I really hope I don't get high off the second hand smoke.

Quite the sales pitch going on today. Kids selling candy. Another gal selling chocolate bars. What is this, New York?
A bald guy with his entire head covered in tattoos just got on. He also has a number of piercings all over his face.
An old guy nicely told someone "watch your back, brother!" The other guy's hands instantly flew to his backside as he shouted "why, is it open?"
More people piling on...
On the 8 now. I just overhead the following conversation from an old man and a young man.
"Never underestimate an old man, cause--"
"Cause you're an old man?"
"No, cause if he's lived that long, he's not stupid!"

Love Bus

On the 140. Someone requested a stop but then shouted "sorry, next one." But the driver stopped anyway and said, "whenever that happens and I don't stop, somebody will always yell at me and say, 'I wanted that stop, driver!'"
This gal is talking to the driver about the possibility of dumping her boyfriend. "Would he get over me quickly? He better not!" The driver's reply was "I been married lots. He wont get over you too fast." Another guy has joined the conversation. "Love is the most beautifulest thing, man."
Topic has changed. He's now saying, "drinking is the worstest thing I ever done."
Okay, back to love. The driver says, "it's like a rose with thorns... I think I'm going to adopt a dog.... and we can go fishing."

Interesting Individual Today...

Today I sat by the nicest chattiest girl. She looked at my glasses, then she looked at the pin on my backpack that says "I only date geeks" and she said to me, "do you watch the Big Bang Theory?" Which, I do, of course.
She then went on to tell me that she's always liked geeks, but has had trouble dating them because she's such a wild child. She asked me if nerds are offended when called "geek" and vis versa.
After that, she told me all about her ice cream truck that she runs every spring and summer, and that she is going to school to be a funeral director.
Some days, I really love riding the bus.

On the 140, across from a girl in blue pants, a blue sweatshirt, and blue eye shadow. The door on the bus is loose and extremely squeaky. Doesn't the bus company have WD-40? How hard can it be to fix it and save everyone a dreadful headache? It's getting pretty crowded in here.
The guy across from me now is on the phone saying, "that guy doesn't have any clue what's in his house, much less behind it."
The gal on my right looks like she spent a good two hours on her hair and makeup today. Her shirt is fancy and she's wearing expensive jeans. Along with all of that, she's wearing an pair of yucky old man slippers. Maybe she was wearing heels earlier and got blisters from them so she had to wear slippers. My head hurts when I try to make sense od these crazy people.

On the 8. Still with Skinny-Smiler and my sister. So Skinny-Smiler is wearing this ridiculous striped woollen poncho sweatshirt thing and we've teased him about it several times today. Then we get on this bus and this gal and her little kid are both wearing them too! Same style, different colors. I guess those things are in. They just informed me that they came all the way from LA to buy them. Wow, I am out of the loop!

Today, I am taking my friend on his very first city bus trip. I am on the 31 on my way to meet him, along with my sister. She is wearing a black hooded jacket and a lot of eye liner to better blend in on the bus.
On the 5 now. It is not very happening today. I hope it gets more exciting before my friend gets on...
I'm now with my friend, who has chosen the web name Skinny-Smiler, is with us and we are going the opposite direction on the 5.
A very large woman in purple just got on. There is also an old lady with her hair dyed bright orange. And here comes a guy who clearly plucks his eyebrows. A lot. There's a guy trying to be a saggy baggy gangsta, but he's not pulling it off very well, because he's wearing corduroy.

Some People Really Don't Know How to Tag Something

I am assuming this person was attempting to write "your mom," but I think the bus came before he could finish.

On the 140. I'm next to two very chatty guys. Sadly, I cannot repeat anything they are saying. If I edited everything bad out, the only word left would be "jail."

Protest!

Joining in on the protest today! No posts, just black!!!

On the 140. Almost empty, but not for long. Filling up-- we've got a nose-blower at the front and the girl across from me has the same coat I have. Glad I'm not wearing it today or I would be forced to blog about myself: one of the accidental twin strangers.
Some old drunk dude keeps shouting "old yeller!" Then he will sing something about tequila between shouts. Another guy offered to get his guitar out. Old Yeller is trying to give a little girl a teddy bear. Creepy. Her father made it very clear that that was NOT going to happen. The little girl is reading one of the kids' books they keep on the bus and she keeps saying, "daddy, the book farted."
Waiting for one of the many Central buses. Next to a guy in a camouflage coat, carrying two huge bags, and wearing.... a gas mask. Just got a whiff of him. Understanding the gas mask.

On the 140. It's pretty quiet today. I'm sitting by a nice girl with tattoos all over her forehead, eyelids, neck and chest. Ouch. It smells like roasted marshmallows in here. That's definitely an improvement from the usual smells of dirty laundry and body odor. Tattoo girl is gone. Now, I am next to a guy that's either really sleepy or really stoned, holding what looks like a skateboard wrapped up and a sweatshirt. He's holding onto it really tight though, so it's probably something else.

Staying Warm

On the 8, heading toward the 140.
It's full of quiet, old and fat people. Not very exciting. And the guy in front of me smells really bad.
Waiting for the 140. It's really cold today. I'm sitting on a text book because the bench is freezing and I have my scarf on, my hood up, and my arms pulled inside my sweatshirt. It is rather difficult to blog like this. Also, I look extremely stupid, blogging inside my sweatshirt.
The 141 just passed, teasing me. Hurry up, 140!

Just a Tangent

All those millionaire music artists sing about how they were on a bus and instantly fell in love with some beautiful person sitting a few seats down. Anyone who has written a song about that has never taken any form of public transportation. You'd have to be nuts to fall in love at first sight with any of those wackos. The bus is just about the least romantic place I can possibly think of. It's stinky and crowded and loud.....
Musicians, STOP SINGING ABOUT THE BUS!!!!

Good Seats, Bad Seats

There were sunflower seed shells in the 766 windowsill and now I'm next to and old yucky open stick of men's deodorant. Buses and their stops are so disgusting.
Getting onto the 140...
I picked a bad spot today. I am not next to the kid with the pierced cheek and gages the size of his face. I am not next to the very chatty pothead. I am not next to the guy dressed in leather from his cap to his boots. No, I am next to the girl with dandruff and the guy quietly reading his textbook. Nice job, Rangergirl, picking the most boring people to sit by.

Officially the earliest bus I've ever taken. The early morning bus bunch is different. Everyone knows each other. I feel like I'm an intruder in some kind of commuting community. And it looks like more people sleep on the bus in the afternoon than in the morning. Guess they're all morning people.
When it's dark out, the side of the bus behind the driver is lit up so the passengers to see, but not the other side. It seems like it is lit this way so the light doesn't distract the drivet. However, the light is reflected in the opposite windows, so it's still bright on the other side. I don't get it.
On the 766.

Phew! That is the fastest I've ever run to catch a bus! But I really did not want to wait 45 minutes for the next one. All the people at the bus stop were watching me race the bus to the stop with a lot of enjoyment and cheering.
The guy in front of me just said, "I got Monday off for the holiday, but the holiday from mi'nigh' to four, tha's when I'll do all my drinkin'."
The driver is honking at the cars in front of the bus, who are trying to get around a car that seems to have run out of gas. "Go go go! Come on, you stupid people!"
Grouchy lady aboard! Saying: "siddown, old man!"
A guy in a wheelchair argued with the driver to let him on although there is absolutely no room. He talked him into it and on his way in, he ran over a lady's broken foot. They are shouting at each other now. I am next to a very cheerful but inexperienced bus rider who is standing in the aisle. He's cracking me up, saying things like, "now that we're all getting to know each other..." every time the bus stops and everyone pushes and shoves to get off.

On the 141. This weird guy in a bright yellow jacket is carrying about five different conversations with other passengers. He sure makes friends easily. He's rambling on about free popcorn. A rather small guy across from me keeps flexing his biceps and feeling his muscles. Creepy.
On the 8. It is extremely packed. And the people just keep coming. Someone's elbow is in my face.
The guy next to me said "do we really have to stop at every busted stop? Mountain bikes are faster! I'd be ridin' my bike if that old lady hadn't cut me off and banged up my knee!" Now he is telling me that it's lucky he is wearing steel toed shoes or his feet would be squished and trampled. I agreed that buses were dangerous that way. He replied, "it's nothing like Detroit. Detroit makes this look like kindergarten, man."

The 140 only comes once every half-hour or so. This tends to upset people waiting at the stops. The sign at my bus stop has a pleasant little note scribbled across it.

(Highly edited)
The 140 sucks
The most useless bus ever
You're better off walking!

Sounds like that guy just missed his bus.

On the 777. It's a bit creepy today. The guy across from me has a bloody bandage on his hand and down aways two guys are exchanging lots of folded papers. Glad to be getting off now.
On the 140 now. And everyone is being all quiet and calm. What's up with that?
Now the two guys across from me are talking about how unfair it is that one of them can't get his job back now that he's finally out of prison.

Smells like.... something strange. Can't tell if it's herbs or drugs. There is a guitar strummer in the back seat. He's sitting next to a girl with a huge amount of blue eye shadow on.
Strum, strum, strum...
The Little Strummer boy says "I have a case, but I never use it, cause then I can't play while I walk!"
I like to sit next to chatty people, so I hear good quotes to post, but the only chatty people on this bus are a boy and girl speaking in Japanese, and my little sister, singing Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. I didn't pick a very good spot, I guess.
Waiting for the 8 and of course I'm next to this guy that just keeps sniffling and sniffling.
On the 8. My mom and sister are by far th most entertaining people on here. They're treating the bus like a roller coaster ride complete with raised arms, gasping and screaming. Also, they are making friends and joking around with strangers.
Getting off...

On the 31, with my mother and sister, sitting next to a large blond man. At the bus stop, the men on the bench were polite enough to give up their seats for us. That is always worth noting.
Now waiting for the 777. The 31 was so late, we missed the one I wanted. That is not unusual, though.
And I just helped a perfect stranger set up her voicemail. Fun.
On the 777 now. We're pretty empty which is strange for lunchtime. Whoa! Slam on the breaks! Don't people know not to pull out right in front of a bus? My little sister nearly flipped out of her seat!